


Fear Of Failing

by brokendrums



Series: Coffee & TV [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-30
Updated: 2012-08-30
Packaged: 2017-11-20 01:04:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokendrums/pseuds/brokendrums
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall studies for his repeat exams and eagerly awaits the results. Sequel to Coffee & TV</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear Of Failing

It makes Harry laugh to see Niall this stressed out. Last time when exams rolled around Harry was still pining from afar and now that he knows him so well it's kind of funny to see Niall with ink stained fingertips and running solely on coffee he's stolen from work. He's sitting in the middle of his bed when Harry gets there, papers spread around him over the duvet and wide eyes that look slightly manic.

  
"Hey." Niall gives him a little relieved grin and drops his pen, feet kicking a text book away to make room for Harry to drop onto the mattress beside him. Harry just shrugs off his jacket and stares at him for a moment. Niall’s grin widens and he pats the bed with one hand and shoves another stacks of notes away with the other.  

  
"Keep studying," Harry chastises, pulling the textbook back on to his lap and dodging Niall's lips when he swoops in for a kiss.

  
Niall pouts, pushing the textbook off the bed so it lands on the floor with a thump and reaching over until he can grab Harry by the neck and pull him onto the bed.

  
"Come on Harry," he cajoles trying to land a kiss on him. "I'm allowed a break now and again."

  
Harry laughs, trying to push him off before he finally relaxes under him and lets Niall swing a leg over him so he’s sitting across his hips. He kisses him, firmly first, just to prove his point before dropping off to a softer pace. 

  
"I'm so sleepy," Niall admits into his jaw a few minutes later whenever he's pulled away enough to speak. Harry has a hand in his hair and is raking it gently over Niall's scalp, enjoying the way he shivers against him. "But I have so much more to cram." 

  
"You shouldn't have left it til the last minute," Harry tells him but Niall just groans and slumps against him, burying his face into his neck. 

  
"I've already had the lecture from Liam thank you," he mumbles into Harry's shoulder, eyes dropping closed. Harry lets him lie there for a minute longer, fingers still trailing through his hair before he pushes him off his chest.

  
"Come on," Harry coaxes his eyes open and picks the text book off the floor again. "Another hour and then you can go to sleep."

  
Niall groans again, rolling onto his back. Some of the pages crinkle under his weight but he doesn’t seem too bothered. Harry presses a final kiss to his forehead and pushes the books towards him again with a small smile.

  
*

  
Zayn appears at Harry's door bright and early the next morning. He has two mugs of coffee in each hand and a can of red bull under his arm. 

  
"Wakey wakey," he croaks, dropping the Red Bull onto the duvet beside Harry's head. Niall moans something unintelligible into the back of Harry's neck before he jumps up, blinking blearily. 

  
"What time is it?" he asks desperately scrambling off the bed once he remembers that he has an exam today. Zayn averts his eyes until Niall has managed to figure out where his underwear is before handing him a mug. 

  
"Just gone eight," Zayn tells him calmly once Niall is halfway decent. Harry rolls over on the bed pushing his nose into Niall's pillow, barely waking up in the first place. "You still have plenty of time." 

  
Niall takes a breath and visibly relaxes but he still gulps at the coffee and rifles through the mounds of notes on the dresser.

  
"Calm down," Zayn tells him perching on the end of the bed beside Harry's feet. Niall makes a little frustrated noise, downing the rest of the coffee and pulling on one of Harry's t-shirts. It's a bit too big on him but he's not really thinking as he shoves his feet into a pair of his jeans as well. He stuffs a handful of notes into his bag before walking out of the room. He returns a second later, pressing a sloppy kiss onto Harry's forehead much to Zayn's amusement and grabbing the can of red bull from the bed. 

  
"Come on," Niall snaps, ignoring Zayn's coos and cracking open the can. "We'll be late." 

  
*

  
Niall looks pale when he emerges from the exam hall just after 12. Harry's waiting for him, feeling a bit guilty because he just went back to sleep when Niall went to pour his brain onto paper.

  
"How'd it go?" Harry asks him when Niall collapses onto the bench beside him.  

  
"Rubbish." Niall moans, rolling his head onto Harry's neck. He has his eyes closed but he's definitely still frowning. 

  
"I'm sure you did great," Harry responds, carding his fingers through his hair before shrugging him off his shoulder and pulling him to his feet. "Let's go get lunch." 

  
They go to the coffee shop because he can probably wrangle a few free sandwiches from his boss even though he's hardly picked up a shift in the last week and a half due to all the studying he's been doing. Louis is sprawled across their usual sofa at the back, Liam beside him flicking through a magazine. 

  
"How did it go?" He asks as soon as he sees them walk down the shop towards them. Louis lifts his head but drops it back down again onto Liam's lap when Niall just pouts and walks straight behind the counter.

  
“Not well.” Harry shrugs and settles into the armchair on the other side of the coffee table. It's huge and normally he and Niall share it. Louis snorts softly and shakes his head against Liam's thigh. “He thinks he’s failed.”

  
“Niall always says that after an exam,” Liam explains barely looking up from whatever he's reading. “He always expects the worst.” 

  
Harry rolls his eyes. “Yes well, he did fail his last set of exams so maybe he should be expecting the worst.” 

  
“And I’m going to fail these too aren‘t I?” Niall suddenly appears beside him. He dumps the plates onto the table and storms back towards the counter. Liam looks at Harry and he feels guilty under his hot gaze. 

  
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Harry tells him when he reappears, two glasses of murky purple brown milkshake in his hand. Niall barely looks at him as he sinks into the end of the sofa beside Liam, the armchair Harry's in suddenly feels huge. 

  
“Today’s special is cherry chocolate,” Niall tells him when Harry glances suspiciously at the glasses. “They’ve tonnes of it that isn’t selling and I’d have to pay if I want any of the strawberry.” 

  
“Niall.” Harry sighs but Niall ignores him, biting into his sandwich and settling back into the cushions with a deeper frown. Harry knows that Niall is just in a mood but Liam keeps flickering his gaze between the two of them and there’s an angry awkward tension between the four of them all during lunch.

  
"So how did the exam go?" Louis asks him quietly, looking up from where he's lying. Niall glares down at his sandwich and Liam winces, expecting the worst. 

  
"Shit," he replies bluntly once he's swallowed a mouthful of bread. "And now we all agree I'm a huge failure there's nothing else to talk about." 

  
"That is not what I meant," Harry tells him again but Niall ignores him, barely glancing up before he stares back down at his food. “You know I don’t think that Niall.” He shrugs but Harry can tell from his hunched shoulders that he's still pissed. Harry sinks back into his chair, pushing his plate towards Niall with his foot because he's suddenly not hungry at all and tries not to be too offended when Niall doesn't even glance near it.  

  
*

  
They go out that night because Niall hasn't been out with them all week and he's feeling left out when Louis launches into yet another story of something that went on last night in the pub. It's nearing the end of the summer and there's a constant trickle of students back to the area so when they get to the pub that evening it takes them a bit longer to shuffle through the crowd and find a table. 

  
Louis slings an arm around Liam and promptly fits their mouths together in a long kiss when they find an empty booth. Harry makes a face and turns to Niall who is draining his first bottle of beer rapidly. There's been tension between them all day but the fact that Niall hasn't disappeared somewhere and avoiding him at all costs is making Harry feel better. 

  
“Are you still angry at me?” Harry asks him. Niall’s eyes flicker over towards him, softening when they catch Harry’s line of sight. He drops the empty bottle onto the table and reaches for Harry’s drink.

  
“Not really. Not at you anyway.” Niall shrugs. He avoids his eyes and picks at the damp label on the bottle. “I just don’t want to fail again.” He pauses, pulling a long line of paper off the bottle. “And I probably have, so…”

  
“You haven’t,” Harry tells him immediately. Niall gives him a small smile but it doesn’t really reach his eyes and Harry knows instantly that he’s doing a shit job at making him feel better. 

  
“Let’s just enjoy the time before I get the results ok?” Niall shrugs, sipping at Harry’s drink. Harry lets him, pulling him into an uncomfortable hug from the way they’re sitting. Niall tenses for a moment and then relaxes into his chest for a moment before pulling away and pointing to the crowd around them.

  
"There's Zayn." He manages before Zayn appears in front of them with a sheepish expression on his face. 

  
“Hey.” He smiles, steadily avoiding looking over to where Liam and Louis are still kissing beside Harry. There's a shock of blond streaked through his hair where it's messily quaffed up that hadn’t been there this morning and Harry wonders what on earth he’s been up to.

  
"Where have you disappeared to all week?" Niall asks him because he's been basically living with Harry and apart from this morning he hasn’t seen Zayn since Monday. Zayn blushes and fiddles with a packet of cigarettes before dropping into the empty seat opposite him. His fingers are spattered with paint and Harry knows he's been busy fixing his art for the exhibition in a few days. 

  
"Uhh." Zayn tries to find his words and Niall grins at him. 

  
"You dirty dog Malik," Niall croons and finishes Harry's drink for him. Zayn peeks up, glancing over to where Louis and Liam have stopped making out and seem to be working very hard to look like they're not eavesdropping. 

  
"I've started seeing someone." Zayn admits, head ducking and eyes determinedly not making their way over at the other two. Harry feels Louis tense beside him for a moment but Liam is looking a mixture of relieved and amused at watching Zayn squirm. "Perrie has been helping me with some of my art and we have a lot in common so..." He trails off, risking another glance at Liam and Louis. 

  
"Great." Niall claps a hand around his shoulder. "That's really great."

  
"Is Perrie by any chance blond?" Louis finally asks, hand reaching out like it can't help itself and running through Zayn's hair. Zayn's eyes flutter shut and when he opens them again he's looking intensely over at Louis. They stare at each other for a moment before Zayn nods.

  
"Yeah, Perrie did it this afternoon," Zayn tells him before taking on a defiant tone. "I like it." 

  
Louis is quiet for another drawn out moment and Harry notices that the rest of them are all looking on in baited breath. Harry suspects that they're not just talking about his hair anymore. 

  
"I like it too." Louis smiles fondly, fingers carefully fixing his hair where he had ruffled it a moment ago. Liam relaxes at the far end of the table and just like that, the moments over. Niall grins, hand slipping into Harry's before he snuggles up to him.

  
"Let's never fight, okay?" Niall tells him quietly while Zayn gathers up money for another round. Harry turns his face to the side so he can rub his nose along his cheekbone. Niall flushes prettily, a mixture of the alcohol and how close Harry is to him. "Today was stupid, I'm sorry." 

  
"Ok." Harry agrees, pulling him closer so he's nearly sitting on his lap and he can kiss him properly. Niall smiles into his lips and kisses back until Louis shoves his shoulder.

  
"Enough PDA." Louis snaps. "It's not fair when I'm here." 

  
Niall splutters a laugh and launches into a list of all the times Niall has had to three wheel with Louis and Liam in the past. Louis pouts at him but otherwise looks unaffected until Liam comes back from the bar and he can cling to him, smattering his face with tiny kisses. 

  
*

  
"Harry. What will happen if I don't pass?" Niall whispers one night later in the week. They haven't spoken about Niall's repeats since the day of his last exam because Niall has still been feeling a bit moody about them and Harry doesn‘t want to annoy him. Harry's nearly asleep, curled around him against his side. The sheets are pulled up over their heads because it's raining outside and Niall hadn't wanted to listen to it.

  
"You will," Harry murmurs and pulls him closer, not even bothering to open his eyes. 

  
"No," Niall sighs out a minute later. Harry blinks his eyes open. It's dark under the covers but he can just about make out the outline of Niall's nose as he tries to turn away from him. "What if I fail again and I have to go back home?" 

  
"Home?" Harry mutters because he hadn't really thought about it. Niall twists again and Harry's met with the back of his head. 

  
"Yeah, home. As in Ireland," Niall whispers and Harry is struck by how sad he sounds. "As in not be here with you anymore." 

  
Harry's stomach lurches at the thought. He doesn't really want to talk about it, or think about it so he just reaches out to wrap an arm around his middle and pull him so his back is flush with Harry's chest. Niall lets out a noise from the back of his throat and suddenly Harry feels his hand being gripped very hard.

  
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Harry presses out between his teeth and he can feel how Niall nods quickly against his side. "If we come to it," Harry corrects himself quietly with a swallow. "I think you'll pass anyway." 

  
Niall laughs but it sounds too hollow for Harry's liking. He just pulls him closer and presses his face into the warm skin at the back of his neck, mind racing too fast to fall asleep now.

  
"I'm going to really miss you if I do have to leave," Niall whispers a long moment later. "I think-- I think I--"

  
Harry can hear him swallow he's that close and feel the way his fingers are trembling wrapped tight in his own. Harry's heart starts to pound as he realises what Niall might be trying to say. 

  
"I think that too," Harry whispers. It's an out. Not because it isn't true but because he doesn't think they're there yet and he doesn't want to mess it up before it gets a chance to properly start. Niall's shoulders relax and he lets out a shuddery breath before a relieved breathy giggle. He manages to roll over and hug Harry properly, letting his lips brush lightly over Harry's.

  
“That’s good.” Niall sighs into his face, pressing a kiss under one of his eyes because he has no idea where his mouth is. Harry laughs and tries to get a better aim, but he misses, smudging a kiss against his chin instead. It'll have to do.  

  
*

  
Niall still hasn't received his results e-mail by the time Zayn‘s exhibition rolls around nearly a week later. Waiting all day has sent him a bit mad and Harry's worried that if he doesn't get it soon he's going to legitimately crazy. 

  
"Stop panicking," Harry tells him for the tenth time since he had read on Facebook that someone had already received their results. Niall glares at him again and pulls at his collar. Harry holds the door open for him and pushes him through into the gallery. All the lights are on and it's bright. For once it actually looks clean and Harry is surprised at the amount of people that are milling about. 

  
"But you have to think about it Harry," Niall whines, not dropping the subject as Harry shuffles him off towards the bar. "Why is it so late? Are they having trouble marking it? Is it because it's so bad they have to get a second opinion?"

  
"Stop over thinking it!" Harry cries and pushes a glass of something bubbly into his hand. "Calm down, it's just lazy professors taking their time. The School of Music wouldn't be the most prompt, now would it?" 

  
"I know but why would they take this long?" Niall demands and drains the glass, chewing on the strawberry off the rim thoughtfully. "And why is Zayn serving this shit?"

  
"I think that's for all the art collectors?" Liam comments sliding up the table beside them. 

  
"To make him look good," Louis explains handing them each a bottle of beer that he's found somewhere. "Get them drunk so they'll buy one of his monstrosities." 

  
Liam whacks him over the shoulder and glances over at one of the newer paintings, unblemished by the damage that Liam knows was his fault and still feels guilty about. Louis on the other hand looks completely at ease. 

  
"They're quite good," Louis comments gazing over to the one that’s delicately named, 'Love Triangle' and doesn’t look pretty at all, it has a few angry black splashes of paint on a background of red. Liam won't look directly at it, he just nods and turns to Harry to change the conversation.  

  
"Oh," Niall breathes out a moment later and Harry finally catches sight of Zayn. He's in the middle of the room, a small group of people hanging around them, Harry doesn't recognise any of them but it's hard not to notice the blonde that's hanging off his arm, fingers clearly interlocked. 

  
"That's Perrie?" Harry asks. Louis spins around to get a look and stops short, jaw dropping. 

  
"Oh, Christ," Louis cries out, far too loudly for the room they're in and a few people turn to look. He turns to clutch at Liam's sleeve completely ignoring them all. "Perrie is a _girl_." 

  
Liam rolls his eyes but peers over his shoulder to glance at Perrie and see that yeah, definitely a girl. 

  
"They're coming over," Niall hisses urgently when he sees Zayn spot them. "Stop staring, Lou." 

  
Harry laughs as the pair of them try to arrange themselves so it isn't obvious that they've been spying. It doesn't work but he thinks that Zayn would be able to tell even if it was convincing. 

  
"Hello!" Liam blurts out when Zayn isn't even two steps away from them. Zayn grins at him, slinging an around Perrie's shoulders. Perrie looks a little nervous, eyes flickering between them. Harry and Niall grin at her but Louis looks like he’s still in shock.

  
“You‘re a girl,” Louis tells her. Liam sighs beside him, flushing pink with embarrassment. 

  
“You’re an idiot, Louis,” Zayn tells him, rolling his eyes and clutching Perrie closer to him. Perrie looks confused for a moment looking down at herself but her eyes light up in recognition when she realises who they are. 

  
"Oh," she murmurs, eyes trailing over Louis and Liam, down to their intertwined hands and then back up to their faces. "You're Louis and Liam." 

  
Liam swallows, smiling tightly and holds out a hand. "That's us." 

  
"Nice to meet you." Perrie smiles but it looks a little forced. Liam looks mortified because it's clear that she knows everything that went on this summer. They descend into silence and Harry can definitely say he'd rather be anywhere else than here right now. 

  
"This isn't awkward at all." Perrie breaks the silence with a nervous laugh making Louis sigh in relief that he didn't have to say anything. Liam clears his throat and Zayn grins at his feet before guiding Perrie in the opposite direction.

  
"Right," Zayn sighs like he can't believe this is actually happening. "I'm going to show Perrie round the rest of the exhibit. Want a guided tour?" 

  
Liam looks like he's about to say no but Louis nods, gripping Liam's wrist and pulling him off after Zayn and Perrie. Harry's about to follow when Niall stops short, phone beeping in his hand. 

  
"What is it?" Harry asks when Niall's eyes just grow and he stares dumbly at his phone.

  
"It's from my lecturer," Niall murmurs and Harry feels a nervous thrum of energy in his gut. "This is it, it's my results." 

  
"Open it," Harry urges him but Niall's looking pale and like he needs a good sit down. "Niall, open it." 

  
He looks up, eyes huge. "If I fail and I have to go home, can we please work something out? Can this not be the end please?" 

  
Harry smiles. He can't believe that Niall is so worried over this. 

  
"Of course." Harry pulls him into a hug. "Home isn't that far away. Now open that email or I'm going to have to wrestle that phone from your hand." 

  
Niall laughs nervously and clicks at his phone. He's silent for a moment as he reads the email and then re-reads it. 

  
"Well?" Harry asks once his patience has ran thin. Niall looks up at him, grin nearly splitting his face.

  
"Looks like you’re stuck with me." Niall shrugs, as if it wasn't keeping him up at night. "Passed them all." Harry lets out a loud whoop and gathers Niall into his arms. Half the gallery is looking at them again but Harry doesn't care, hugging Niall close to him and laughing into his shoulder, relief surging through the both of them. 

  
"Good," Harry tells him when he can catch his breath. "I don't know what I would do with you gone." 

  
Niall just smiles at him, pulling him in for a long kiss that even Louis tuts at all the way from across the room. 

  



End file.
